Volume 21

SUNDAY NEWS
August 2, 2009

We are going to issue a second edition today to cover more of our trip. We have been pretty tired and lazy here in Arizona since we got back from trip. Karl has been working on catching up with the hundreds of messages and e-mails that occurred during his absence. It is hard to feel like working again after so much time off. Lori has had to go back to work also. Her back is still bothering her. She has several doctor appointments coming up. Vayden seems happy to be back home and in a routine. She has done a lot of sleeping. Christian says he is bored. Several weeks of entertainment in Indiana and an exciting cruise have left him dissatisfied with everyday life. Christian starts football on Monday however and the first week is hell week so it will not be long before Christian will soon cherish down time. Also school starts the week after that for Christian.

The Victory

Sooooo Shelby
When you look at our family pictures, Shelby looks very beautiful and you could never tell that those pictures almost didn’t happen. On one of the formal nights Shelby had a meltdown about her hair and make-up. Lori, Brittney, Alyssa, and Karl all tried to help her together and separately. It was a close call, but she finally agreed to leave the room and her pictures look great.

All Alyssa
Alyssa started our trip by being diverted to Tucson because of a dust storm in Phoenix. It is a little concerning when you are getting ready to board a plane and to connect with the rest of
the children and your daughter calls you telling you she has just landed, but not in the correct airport. It all worked out though and we all made it to Atlanta, found each other and made it on time to our plane bound for Puerto Rico.

Alyssa and her bag, which was quickly nick-named ‘The Beast’, made quite an impression on several taxi drivers and anyone else that came in contact with it and had the misfortune of trying to lift the 73 pound monster. Prior to the trip we send out a packing list to the kids. The list contained warnings and admonitions repeated several times on every page about packing light and only packing things that were absolutely necessary and would be used for sure. For Alyssa apparently 15 pairs of shoes and a computer were absolute necessities. Human beings were not the only ones to complain. On one of our flights it seemed like it was taking a long time to get airborne. We thought we were going to run out of runway. We couldn’t help thinking it must be Alyssa’s bag. ‘The beast’ itself rebelled against its onerous burden with zippers splitting and the tote handle refusing to emerge towards the end of the trip.

Alyssa wrote this about the trip:
Well, I thought the trip was a lot of fun and I had a great time with Brittney and Shelby. I really liked the all girl's horseback riding trip, especially when we got to ride bareback the ocean. The the bioluminocent kayaking trip was fun with all three of us girls in one kayak. It was pretty funny especially when we ran into the mangrove trees about ten times. Our tour guide from Tennessee had to try to calm us down. He told us all sing a song to sync our rowing rhythm. Also we all thought he was pretty cute. I thought it was funny how the pizza guy on the ship was in love with Shelby and me. The formal nights were fun walking around the ship all dressed and made up. Going to the late night comedies with my Dad and Brittney, was fun but a little bit awkward. It was fun to see Vayden learning to clap and going crazy for the shows and dances. I liked learning the cupid shuffle and the booty call dance at the bon voyage party with the girls. Shelby and I had a late night routine that we enjoyed which involved going to our 15-17 club "Club O2" and then getting pizza and ice-cream and then hanging out at the back of the boat.

Being Brittney
Brittney got her hair braided in one of the ports. Sometimes what happened and where it happened is all a blur. We think it was St. Kitts. We stopped at a different port on a different island everyday and it is hard to remember sometimes exactly what happened where. Brittney got busted aboard the ship for violating the law. No it wasn’t for hanging out in the casino. She was legal there. No it wasn’t for underage drinking. Again she is legal for that too. It wasn’t for peeing in the pool. She claims she doesn’t do that anymore. Brittney got busted and kicked out of the 15-17 year old Club known as Club 02. Apparently the ship is very serious about 19 year old cougars who might try to converse with those innocent 17 year old boys. Actually she was just trying to hang out with Alyssa and Shelby pretending to be 17. Her sail and sign card and the ship’s computer data base gave her away though.
Brittney was the only one in the family to actually get up before it was absolutely necessary in the morning to go to the gym and work out with Karl. Neither Karl nor Brittney made it everyday though. Alyssa did bring shoes for the gym however.

Family Stories
Paddling Wars
One night, while in Puerto Rico, Karl, Christian, Brittney, Alyssa and Shelby took an hour and a half shuttle van to the other side of the island to experience the bioluminescent bay of Fajardo. Our driver was a nice guy who stopped and bought us these little fruits for us to snack on. We have already forgotten the name of them, but they were the size of grapes.
Hidden along the Caribbean coast of Puerto Rico is the most spectacular bioluminescent bay in the world. A mysterious blue-green light is created by micro-organisms that live in the bay. This unique bay contains up to 720,000 single-celled bioluminescent dinoflagellates (pyrodimium bahamense) per gallon of water. These organisms emit a flash of bluish light when agitated at night. There are currently only 4 places in the world where you can see this, and 3 of them are in Puerto Rico. There is also one place in Japan. In Fajardo however the concentration of these organisms is the highest and it is the best place in the world to see this natural wonder.

We boarded our kayaks which were illuminated only by two glow sticks. One green glow stick placed in the front of the kayak, and one red glow stick placed in the back of the kayak. Alyssa, Brittney and Shelby decided to ride in one kayak and Karl and Christian were in another. We started from the shore of this little seaside port and paddled out into the ocean and through various local fishing ships that were anchored just off shore. We quickly reached the mouth of a small river in the Las Cabezas reserve. We paddled up the river towards the bay. The river is lined with thick mangrove trees which completely cover the sky. It is dark and difficult to see much with only the slight illumination of two small glow sticks. As you get closer to the bay the water begins to glow and light up where ever it disturbed by our paddles or boat. It is really cool. The organisms glow similar to lighting bugs or fireflies. It is hard to describe. When fish move through the water they leave a glowing trial of light. Eventually the river leads to a large bay where we paddled out under the night sky and watched fish jumping. It is an amazing experience for anyone who has the slightest appreciation of nature.

The river is dark, narrow and winds with many turns. This proved extremely challenging for the three girls. They could not seem to manage to go straight. There we were, in the black of night in the deep dark quiet of the Puerto Rican wilds. Only the sound of an occasional frog or the splash of a giant iguana could be heard as we crept up the dark river towards one of nature’s wonders. Well . . . that and the girls voices. They started off with Alyssa paddling in the front and Shelby paddling in the back. They repeatedly crashed over and over again into the mangroves. Karl and Christian snickered as the girls kayak continually crashed into the bank. Brittney did not have a paddle since she was seated in the middle. What Brittney did have was plenty of advice and criticism for her two paddlers. Frustration, irritation, contravention, blame, accusations, name calling, finger pointing, agitation, yelling, swearing, criticism, fault finding, castigation, reprimanding, disparagement, anger, and bad mouthing are just of few of the words to describe what happened on that river.

This is what the river looks like in the day time.

At one point Brittney was soundly struck in the head with a paddle wielded by Shelby, which Shelby claims was and accident. Anyone who listened to the dialogue between these girls might question the claim that it was an accident however.

On the return trip, Brittney took over Shelby’s spot. The results remained the same however, and they continued to crash into the shore.

Magen’s Bay St. Thomas U.S. Virgin Islands
In each port we had an excursion planned. Our fist excursion was to Magen’s Bay in St. Thomas. The whole family went. This beach is rated as one of the top 10 beaches in the world. We boarded and open air bus and saw our first iguanas of the trip crawling around the city. After a short drive and few stops we arrived at Magen’s Bay. It was beautiful sunny day for us, but due to some recent rain, the water wasn’t as clear as it usually is. It was still very beautiful though. The girls seemed to be fascinated by a man who was traveling alone on our cruise and also came to enjoy Magen’s Bay. This old man was unique in that fact that he had long white hair and dressed like a woman. He sported a thong bikini on the beach that day. I think the girls have pictures of him. We will spare you those however. We also got to do some snorkeling here. The beach is not really a snorkeling area but there were some things to see over by the rocks. Brittney got a good scare when one of the anchored boats drifted over Brittney and Karl as there were snorkeling around this rock. The boat somehow gave Karl a 4 inch cut on his shoulder. Shelby cut her toe snorkeling also. Despite all the blood in the water no sharks appeared to Christian’s disappointment

This is the spot where we snorkeled in Magen's Bay.

A Top Magen's Bay

El Morro - The Fort at Old San Juan
San Juan has one of the biggest and best harbors in the Caribbean. It is also the second oldest city in the Americas. El Morro is a fort that was built to protect the harbor. We toured it one morning in Puerto Rico. Construction was begun in the 1500’s by the Spanish and it continued for about 400 more years. The outer walls are 20 feet thick. Behind the fort there are large expansive grass fields where people today have picnics and fly kites. For what was originally a military fort the place is incredibly beautiful. We actually sailed right past this fort on our cruise ship as we started our cruise and entered the harbor on our trip back.


Towel Animals
Each night our cabin steward Noel would make an animal out of towels. The girls collected their animals. We had to ask Noel to repair them from time to time. Noel was a really great guy. He learned all out names and would remember each of us every time he saw us.

The Girls Towel Animal Collection

Volume 20

SUNDAY NEWS
August 2, 2009

The Family - The Victory

We made it back from our vacation tan and tired. We now need a vacation to recover from our vacation. We stopped in a different port on a different island everyday with excursions and shopping on every island followed by formal dinners and late night shows, dancing and incessant eating opportunities. The girls were usually out dancing at deck parties, at their teen club or watching late night movies on the deck under the stars on the giant big screen until 2 and 3 a.m. sometimes. We are a little sleep deprived. Our ship was called the Victory.

We boarded our ship and then
went to the following islands:

Puerto Rico
St. Thomas
Dominica
Barbados
St. Lucia
Antigua
St. Kitts
Puerto Rico

Very Vayden
Vayden did great on the trip. She is such a good baby. She tolerated staying up way too late and having her sleep interrupted constantly. She put up with taxis rides, bouncy buses, noisy hot markets, loud shows, elevators, dinners and being passed from person to person and hauled around in the hot tropical heat. She is a special baby and we all love her. Vayden really loved the late night shows on the cruise ship. She would go crazy, and we mean crazy for some of the music and dancing. She was hard to hold on to. She would dance and jump and clap her hands. The girl loved the shows.


Vayden made lots of friends with the crew members. People were always making animals out of napkins and things to coax a smile from the little princess. Vayden was well dressed with a variety of cute little outfits. She seemed to thoroughly enjoy all the excitement and action. She ate all kinds of new things on the ship. We could only bring so much baby food, so she mainly ate things that we were eating.

Vayden is also quite the nature girl. You would think she would be upset by being put in a backpack carrier and hauled around the rain forest in the pouring rain, but not Vayden. She loved it. In Dominca were originally scheduled to go tubing down one of the rain forests rivers. But the rain made the river too high and dangerous to tube. So we switched to a hike in the rain forest to a water fall called Emerald pool. Vayden put up with the pouring rain and the heavy mist coming from the waterfall loving every minute of it.

Emeral Pool - Dominica

Completely Christian
Christian and Karl got up early in St. Lucia and boarded a pirate ship called the Unicorn. This ship was actually used in filming the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. In fact, you can see the actual crew of the ship appearing as extras in the movies. Christian got to fire one of the ships canons at Fort Rodney. After sailing around the island, we arrived in Rodney Bay and went ashore in a dingy to Pigeon Island. Christian found some treasure on the island. Karl and Christian also climbed up to Fort Rodney.


St. Lucia

Sandals Resort where Karl and Lori spent their Honeymoon is behind Christian

Our Pirate Ship - The Unicorn

We saw a very interesting side of Christian in St. Lucia. The whole family took a cab to the market place in St. Lucia. Our cab driver said he would come back in two hours. This market was not the little tourist shops frequented by cruise passengers, but he real Castries market place which was a little rough around the edges. The people of St. Lucia were very nice. It was one of our favorite stops. St. Lucia holds a special place in the hearts of Karl and Lori since it was where they spent their honeymoon.

Christian was a little disturbed by a drunken man who kept trying to read our palms. Eventually some of the other shop keepers came to the rescue and confronted him and pushed him down and told him to stop harassing the tourists. Christian said he was nervous and he just wanted to go back to the ship. Then a fight broke out on the streets of Castries. Men were running around the market place in various places and into the streets hitting each other with pipes and boards. It was hard to tell what was going on, but it seemed to be some kind of dispute between two groups. The police arrived and it was a little bit exciting. Karl was sitting down holding Vayden who was asleep and moved to get a better look. This made Alyssa nervous as she felt it was not a good idea to have them disputing parties see a tourist watching them.

Dos Pitons - St. Lucia

Now if Alyssa was a little nervous, Christian was beside himself by then and just wanted to go back to the ship. He was convinced that every cab driver looked like ours at that point. To tell you we had all kind of forgotten what our cab driver looked like. We ended up taking another cab back despite the fact that Lori felt guilty since we had promised the other guy we would be waiting for him at 3:15 where he dropped us off. But cab driver loyalty aside nobody wanted to wait another hour in the heat, especially with our nervous little wreck by the name of Christian.

Christian liked have free reign of the ship. He would bring one of our walkie-talkies and go play miniature golf on one of the upper decks.

Family Stories
Lori’s Big Win
One night Lori and Brittney went to the casino aboard the ship to try their luck at gambling. Lori likes to gamble and for some reason seems to have the luck. The legal age in international water is 18 years old so Brittney could also gamble. Lori was playing one of the penny slot machines and won $125.00. That is pretty good considering it is a penny machine. For example if it had been a dollar slot machine it would have been like winning a car or $12,500.00 dollars to be exact.

Brittney’s Shark Encounter
Karl, Brittney and Alyssa took a cab from our hotel in Old San Juan Puerto Rico to Isla Verde Beach during our stay in Puerto Rico. We all three thought it was a beautiful beach, other than the girls being a little horrified by some of the Puerto Rican men who wore banana hammocks. Since Brittney had never driven a Sea-Doo, Karl decided to rent one so Brittney and Alyssa could take turns riding it in the surf. They required an adult of 21 or older to be present on the Sea-Doo which doesn’t make much sense since you can gamble and drink in Puerto Rico at age 18. Anyway, Karl had to go with the girls while they drove. Brittney did great for her first time especially since the ocean is pretty choppy. She did however roll the Sea-Doo once dumping both herself and Karl into the ocean. Karl was momentarily distracted diving down to find his sunglasses and the Sea-Doo drifted several yards away. Karl swam to the Sea-Doo and had some trouble getting it started since the key was different that he was used to. Meanwhile Brittney has drifted is now about 40 to 50 yards away and is screaming at Karl to hurry up. There was a certain urgency and panic in her voice and Karl wasn’t sure why she was so upset. As it turns out, Brittney was afraid she was going to be eaten by a shark!

Isla Verde Beach in Puerto Rico

Note from the Editors
We have lots of family stories from our trip and it will probably take a few editions to publish them. It was great to be all together. Just sitting down all together for dinner each night is something that Karl and Lori treasured. It is not often we get to do that. Also we have posted quite a few pictures from our trip on Facebook

Runaway Beach Antigua

Volume 19

SUNDAY NEWS
July 12, 2009

It is hot here in Arizona in case you haven’t heard. It got to at least 116 degrees this week. Lori has been struggling with unexplained back pain. She hasn’t been able to work this week. She has been moving around like a 90 year old lady. She has made two trips to the emergency room trying to figure out what is causing it. They think it is a compressed disc.

We have a big list of things to do before we leave on our trip this week. First among them is to get Lori healed. Right now Lori is not capable or hauling a suitcase through an airport let alone enjoy horseback riding on the beach. She is taking so much pain medication that she is not allowed to drive. Shelby drove her home from the emergency room one day. Lori has been to the emergency room twice, a chiropractor and homeopathic doctor twice, her family doctor, her female doctor, and had several tests. What is frustrating is that the medical field only seems interested in treating the pain and not the problem. The medical field is the equivalent of putting air in a leaky tire. “Treat’em and street’ em.” They need to look for and fix the hole in the tire instead of just continuing to put air into a flat tire.

Shopping
For the better gender, one of the most important parts of any vacation or any big trip is the shopping. There is shopping in preparation for the trip, and shopping during the trip. Like any good woman, no amount of back pain can stop Lori from shopping for a trip like the one we have planned.

Lori and Shelby have gone shopping several times for our upcoming trip. There are so many things to buy. Karl is worried about the size and weight of the suitcases. Vayden alone requires quite a bit of equipment and paraphernalia. We are going to have quite a few suitcases. We have already purchased several new monster suitcases. Shelby got a new suitcase as an early birthday present because she just couldn’t shove any more stuff in the one she has currently.

Karl has also gone shopping with Lori. In fact he actually endured the marathon . . . the bar exam of shopping . . . the pinnacle of female shopping. Karl dared to shop with Lori for a new pair of jeans. For those of you who don’t already know this, it is incredibly dangerous for any man let alone a husband to help his wife find a new pair of jeans. A husband who braves to assist in the quest for the elusive perfect pair of jeans must tread carefully when asked to
participate and comment in such a process. For a husband who does not want to upset or offend his wife, it is like walking a tight rope without a net. One reckless or loose comment, one unprepared or un-thought out answer to a question and it is all over. Karl pulled almost every pair of jeans in the entire department store and handed them to Lori whose dressing room became filled with stacks and piles of jeans.

Here is a tip for all males attempting to participate in this process. If and when the perfect pair of jeans is discovered, do not even look at or comment on the price. Women’s jeans are ridiculous to begin with. The mind set should be, if your wife has actually found a pair of jeans that she is happy with, no price is too much to pay to end the ordeal and make your wife happy.

Karl also made the mistake of going with Lori several times shopping for a new bathing suit also. Now this should never be attempted by any male, at any time, under any circumstance. If you want to remain happily married . . . do NOT . . . I repeat . . . DO NOT attempt to go shopping for a bathing suit with your wife. It can only end badly.

Very Vayden
We took Vayden to her first baseball game yesterday. She loved it. The crowd, the sights, sounds everything. Chase field has a baby section where little kids can crawl around on some baseball related toys and artificial grass. She loves other little kids. Lori made her a black head band with a red flower to match Vayden’s Diamondback shirt. She was probably the cutest fan there, and at least 50 people told us as much. As we were walking along the tiers Vayden started waving to people and discovered that they would wave back. The little girl loves the attention and she sure seems to get a lot of it. She waved and smiled at everyone. Vayden was fascinated by everybody cheering and clapping together. Vayden really seems to enjoy being out with people and having new sights and sounds to experience. You can see her little mind working. She observed that people were yelling, so she found that she also liked using her voice to yell. There were several fans that turned around laughing to see where that loud little voice was coming from. Vayden can be incredibly loud for such a little girl.



Sooooo Shelby
We have enjoyed having Shelby with us. We have missed her. Also with Lori unable to do a lot of things because of her back, Shelby has been a huge help with Vayden. It is a good thing Shelby has been here.

It is hard to talk about Shelby without saying a few words about Shelby and the love of her life. For those of you who don’t already know, Shelby is in a very, very serious and intense relationship with her cell phone. Medically speaking, Shelby and her phone are conjoined twins. We have sought several medical opinions as to whether separation surgery can be performed and it looks like the procedure might prove fatal. The funny thing about Shelby and her cell phone, is that she never talks on it.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the ability for human beings to actually have a real time conversation on a telephone, I bet he could not have foreseen that someday modern teenagers would revert back to the equivalent of telegrams and never even attempt to use their phones to speak.

You will never here Shelby taking on her phone or hear Shelby’s voice. Sometimes you may forget that she is even in the room. You will only hear the distinctive slap of her flip phone closing. You won’t even be able to catch a glimpse of her thumbs moving across her key board because it is too fast for the naked eye. Only the slap of that phone over and over again throughout the day will remind you that Shelby is nearby.

In regards to studies done on teenagers and texting, some experts predict that teenagers will soon lose the ability to speak all together. Ahhh, we can only hope! Do we dare dream of such a world? Imagine modern day parents never having to hear the barrages of negativity, the repetitive complaints of unfairness and incessant criticism of our archaic parental ideals. Teenagers texting their grievances until their fingers bleed and parents just deleting those texts with peaceful smiles across their content faces. “And the lion shall lay down with the lamb.”

Lori actually communicates with Shelby by text all the time. What is amazing about that fact, is that they are in the same house, and often in the same room at the time. Karl has witnessed them texting each other while driving in the same car.

Now texting can have some benefits. Lori and Shelby have been at odds several times during her visit. Shelby refuses to talk to her mother and they actually fight on the phone texting each other back and forth. Karl, Christian and Vayden enjoy driving peacefully down the road in complete silence while Shelby and Lori fight on the phone texting away at each other. No screaming, no name calling, just the occasional sound of a phone flipping closed. Now that is technological progress at its best.

Family Stories

Adding Emphasis to her Daddy’s Lesson
The girls found this story hilarious, while Karl does not. Last week in church, Karl had to teach the lesson in Sunday School. Lori and Shelby sat in the front row with Vayden. Vayden doesn’t much like to hold still anymore if she is conscious. This is especially true if she is in a new environment where there are things to touch and explore. While Karl was teaching in the front of the class, Vayden crawled up towards her Dad and pulled herself up on a chair that was against the front wall. With her little butt facing the small crowd she let loose a very audible fart. Lori and Shelby struggled not to laugh and Karl managed to pretend like didn’t just happen.

Volume 18

SUNDAY NEWS
July 5, 2009

We hope everyone had a great Fourth of July. We went out to dinner and then to Tempe Town Lake for a big fireworks show for the Fourth. Vayden really liked the fireworks and all the people. She got to ride on a city bus for the first time.
Lori and Karl are enjoying being off the diet and eating more than 500 calories a day. It has gotten hot here in Arizona. We are thankful that this year June stayed pretty cool for the most part.

Very Vayden
Vayden has had a lot going on with her. She is growing so fast. A couple weekends ago we took her out to a wedding. We thought she would get fussy and we would only be able to stay for awhile, but she loved it. She was completely fascinated by the whole experience. We have been teaching he to clap, and she was amazed to see that other people do that too. She loved sitting in a high chair at the table eating real people food. She tried her first mashed potatoes which she loved. The little girl went crazy for apple cider. We have never seen her get so excited to drink something or drink so much of something. After she got all juiced up on apple cider she went off dancing with with several people. The kids got rhythm and loved the music. She seems to really enjoy new people. When she wasn’t dancing herself, she seemed fascinated by others who were. She did great at the wedding. She loves people and social interaction. We stayed until almost the end. Vayden eventually ended up in Karl’s arms and put her head on his chest and turned off like a light. Vayden has had her first trip to the emergency room. Christian was leaning on and goofing around on one side of the safety gate at the top of the stairs with Vayden on the other side. Christian was trying to pull a trash bag full of old clothes up over the gate with Vayden tugging on the bag. Christian’s weight made the gate give way and the gate and Christian’s full weight fell onto Vayden with the gate smashing into her face. She immediately had broken blood vessels and bruising on her face, but what worried us most was the egg that started forming on her forehead. We took her to the emergency room and got her checked out. She ended up being ok and the goose egg quickly subsided. It was a little scary and traumatic for everyone. Christian felt really bad.

Vayden is crazy for beef jerky. She can’t really eat it, but loves sucking on it. We have to be careful bringing it out around her or she will throw a fit if you don’t give her any. She recognizes the bag and can smell it even if you try to hide from her and eat some of it in the same room with her.

Vayden can now clap her hands and shake her head “no”. She is the cutest baby. Everyone who meets her always says the same thing. We have people at the mall, the grocery store, and where ever we go come up to us and comment on how happy she is. She is almost always smiling and laughing. People who are sitting 7 rows behind us at church will come up and mention it to us. She really is a very happy baby and we are all very blessed to have her in our home. Her happiness is contagious and she makes all of us smile all the time too.

Completely Christian
Christian is in Indiana visiting and Lori, Karl, Vayden and Roxy miss him. Karl is jealous that Christian got to be in Indiana for the Fourth of July since there are all those fireworks stands selling plenty of trouble. Recently at a wedding we attended, there was an artist there that would draw a portrait of any of the weddings guest who were willing to sit for him. This ended up being Christian’s favorite part of the wedding. Well that and the table full of candy table that they hand on hand. Christian got his portrait done and after it was done he walked over to our table and said, “Dang, I look gooooood!” Lori was laughing at him and Christian couldn’t understand why. He kept saying, “What? I do. Look.”

Christian says he is having a good time in Indiana, his only complaint is the mosquitoes. He is a lucky kid to have so many people who love him and his company.

Sooooo Shelby
Shelby is staying with us for a few weeks. Lori and Shelby went to see the Diamond backs play the Angeles. The Angeles won due to an inside the park homerun bunt if you can believe that. Shelby has been getting to know her little sister and helps out by babysitting her at times.

All Alyssa
Alyssa had a barbeque at her house and then her block gets together for a block party fireworks extravaganza.

Being Brittney
Brittney had some big plans this weekend. She was excited to get to do this since she has been wanting to do it for the past two years. Brittney is going camping with a bunch of friends at a place called Red Bud in Michigan. It is a dirt bike track, and every Fourth of July they have pro dirt bike riders come and race. There is also a fireworks show.

Family Stories

Karl’s Humor
Lori thought Karl was funny today in his lesson in church. Karl’s personality requires him to write even his attempts at humor out ahead of time, so we copied a portion of it for your entertainment.

Karl talking . . . . If this lesson sounds familiar, we had one very similar to it not too long ago. The good news is that if you are like me you probably weren’t paying attention or have already forgotten most of it. It is ok, I am not being critical, I am the worst. Ask Lori. I can’t tell you how many times she looks at me like I am crazy and says “We already talked about this!” and all I can say is, “We did?”
Then I have to ask:
Was the TV on at the time?
Was I eating something?
Was I driving?
Was I in an upright position, or horizontal on the couch?
Did I have my mouth open or closed?
Sunday News
Volume 18 Page 4 July 5, 2009

The answers to these questions help me determine if I was actually paying attention or just pretending. You see I read this book about how people, especially your wife likes it when you listen to them. (the book didn’t say anything about retaining what they say however)
Also, a tip I have learned for you guys, just listening isn’t enough.
You have to PARTICPATE. So every once in awhile during the conversation you should nod or say “Oh yeah”. Also I find it helps if you ask a question now and then so it appears as if you are following along. This is true even if you don’t care what the answer is. Just be careful, because if you ask, “Oh yeah, who is she?” and your wife responds, “Your daughter!” She may catch on.
My wife says I am not funny and that I am too serious, too intense. People are afraid of me. My response is to ask, “Who thinks that?! I want their names and addresses!”

So she writes down our address and our kids names.
Then I say. “No seriously.”
Then she asks me why would you want their addresses?
I tell her because I am going to write them a three page letter explaining why I am light hearted and easy going.

Volume 17

SUNDAY NEWS
June 14, 2009

It is summer in Arizona although it really hasn’t been that hot yet. The other evening we went to the field and Vayden enjoyed crawling around on the grass. Yesterday the family woke up early and went to the Phoenix Zoo. We decided to buy a membership so that we can go whenever we want for the next year. Vayden seemed to really enjoy the experience but it tired her out. A tired Vayden is a good thing. Sometimes the little critter hardly ever sleeps. We don’t know how she does it. At the zoo we bought her a little clingy ring-tailed lemur stuffed animal thing that she hasn’t let go of since. Vayden seemed to enjoy the petting zoo the most, followed by the actual exhibit of ring-tailed lemurs and the flamingos.

The diet for both Lori and Karl continues. Lori describes herself as an “emotional cutter” as she now watches the Food Network all day and all night. She has the first three months of meals now planned for when she completes her diet.

Very Vayden
Vayden is a ball of energy these days. She crawls at light speed any time a door opens to a room where she knows she is not supposed to be. She will push it open if you don’t shut it all the way too. She has become a quite a good eater. We have introduced hand foods. She loves to use her two little bottom teeth to gnaw on surf boards like a little beaver. Surf boards are actually called Baby Mum-Mum rice rusks, but who wants to say that. The question, “Vayden, would you like a Mum-Mum rice rusk?” doesn’t exactly to roll off the tongue so we call them surf boards, because that is what they look like. Vayden wants to walk. She is constantly standing up and testing her balance. She has also really starting to enjoy being outside. We have taken her swimming several times now too. It is not the warm bath water she is used, to but she is adjusting to the idea.

Completely Christian
Christian is noticeable taller. He has been enjoying his summer although his parents have been on the lazy side due to dieting issues. Christian spends a lot of time with his best friend Blake. The two of them can play video games for most of the day and into the early hours of the morning. Christian has developed an interest in World War II due to several of the video games that he plays that involve that era such as the Call of Duty series. Christian is also on a quesadilla eating kick, he requests and eat several of them a day.

Christian has recently accompanied Karl to court a couple times to watch a few of Karl’s trials. Christian as we all know is a smart kid and demonstrated his understanding of the real world this week when after observing one of Karl’s clients losing his case and being found guilty, he asked:

Christian: Dad do you still get paid?
Karl: Yep.
Christian: Do you get the same money even though you didn’t win?
Karl: Yep.
Christian: Well then you always win, right?
Karl: Yep.

Christian and Karl have been going to a bunch of Diamondback games. A week or two ago Christian was jazzed that we got go on Stephen Drew bobble-head night which is his favorite player. Christian was also excited to go to his first rock concert last night. After the Diamondbacks game there was a concert put on by Lifehouse in Chase Stadium. They are actually very good in concert.

Mueller Trivia: Lifehouse plays Lori and Karl’s wedding song, “You and Me”

Sooooo Shelby
Shelby is now out of school and in driver’s education. Happy Summer Shelby!

All Alyssa
Alyssa’s last day of school is this Wednesday June 17th. Hang on Alyssa, summer is almost here.

Being Brittney
Brittney is out of school too, but thinks she will probably take summer classes in the future so as to get through school sooner. She is taking advantage of the additional time to work more.

Really Roxy
Roxy has discovered the benefits of having a baby in the house. Babies are messy and now that Vayden is eating surf boards, bread and things that fall to the ground, Roxy waits patiently in the wings to clean up the floor.

Note from the Editors
This week we have added a new section entitled supporting images, and we continue to invite you to view our Facebook pages with recent pictures and videos.

Volume 16

SUNDAY NEWS
May 17, 2009

Lori and Karl started a diet this week. The goal is not to embarrass and cause unnecessary psychological harm to the kids on vacation since we will be hitting the beach together. The last time Karl came out of the bedroom without a shirt on, Alyssa’s mouth dropped in horror and she looked a little shell shocked. Lori started talking about her hunger within hours of starting the diet. Lori believes she can feel herself shrinking. Karl believes it is going to be a long six weeks.

This past week Lori and Vayden had to go to the hospital for a special meeting. A startling outbreak has been observed recently at Chandler Regional Medical Center. 34 female employees of Lori’s Maternity Unit have developed full blown symptoms and been diagnosed over the past year. Both female nurses and 5 female doctors have been affected. This week Lori and Vayden met at the Hospital to document the outbreak. They all posed for a picture. The outbreak was pregnancies. 25 new babies have been born and 9 more are on the way. That is a lot of maternity leave.

Very Vayden
Vayden is mobile, on the go, and into everything. She is on a mission to touch and taste the whole world. She wants to pull Roxy’s shed hair out of her bed and get a mouth full. She wants to taste Karl’s shoes. If you leave your toes unattended for long you may find Vayden with her mouth around one sucking away. This week Vayden got a hold of the cord that Lori’s plugs her computer into in the loft and sucked on that. Unfortunately it was still plugged in and Vayden had quite a shocking experience. She is ok. She will crawl on carpet or hard cold tile to reach her objective. She has an attention span of about 3 seconds then it is on to the next object. She is on a mission and very determined.

Vayden has her first tooth. It is a bottom tooth. She is still a discriminating eater. We try feeding her a few bites of fruit and then sneaking in a spoon full of vegetables, but she looks at us like we are crazy and often spits it out. She is gets more cute by the day and has quite a little personality developing now. She is very vocal and likes to sing. There is a video of her singing on both Lori and Karl’s Facebook pages.

Completely Christian
Christian is counting the days until school is out which is this Wednesday. He has been going around singing Alice Cooper’s song “School’s Out for Summer.” Christian and Karl bought some new practice swords at Sam’s Club. One of them is a bow staff . . . or double light saber to Christian and Karl. Christian and his friend Tristian team up against Karl. Lori captured some unauthorized video of one of the battles on her new Flip which she got for Mother’s day. You can see this video on her Facebook page. Karl is realizing just how old he is getting and can’t believe how sore his right side and right lower back are many days after these battles.

Really Roxy
Roxy has become obsessed with chasing the cats that cross the back wall. She will even sleep outside now so as not to miss an opportunity. Roxy and Vayden are good pals and constantly entertaining each other. There is a video of the two on both Lori and Karl’s Facebook pages. You can also watch a video of Roxy talking. She becomes very vocal when someone mentions the word ‘walk’. Vayden crawls around chasing Roxy trying to get a handful of that long soft fur. Roxy is very patient and has accepted the fact that her indoor life now consists of getting up and finding a new spot to lay down about every 20 seconds so as to avoid the grabby hands of our little Vaydy Bug. Now and then Roxy will hold still and let Vayden get a handful of fur. Maybe it is because she likes hearing Vayden shriek with happiness and smile ear to ear.

Note from the Editors
We referenced Facebook for the first time in this edition. We know that some of you have been on Facebook for some time. It is an undeniably useful, easy, and free way to stay in touch and share pictures, videos, and much more.

Volume 15

SUNDAY NEWS
May 3, 2009

We celebrated Mother’s Day today since Lori has to work next week. Vayden’s slept until 8:15 a.m. to get things started, and then Karl, Christian and Vayden let Lori sleep until she wanted to wake up. Karl put a roast in the crock pot early this morning for lunch. Lori had a big 32 ounce cup movie cup full of Cocoa Puffs for breakfast. Christian made her a card complete with a poem and she got two Diamondback caps and a Flip video recorder.

We have installed baby gates in the house on Vayden’s bedroom door and at the top of the stairs given Vayden’s recent mobility. She isn’t crawling over even scooting, but manages to cover some pretty good distance with a series of rolls. Vayden now Lori recently talked Karl into hiring people to do the yards. It is difficult for Karl to give that up but Lori has convinced him he needs to spend more time with the family on Saturday’s instead of spending the whole day working outside. Christian is happy about it since he has been saying we should hire somebody every time he is asked to help out.

We have also been working pretty seriously on having a 3 month supply of food and other necessities. Chandler Regional Hospital, (Lori’s hospital) has been in the news and has some pretty strict polices presently because of the swine flu cases that have occurred in Chandler. She has to wear a mask and eye protection when dealing with the public. They closed down two schools in Chandler last week.

Very Vayden
Vayden is a crazy little critter. Just today she sat up from lying on her stomach for the first time. She definitely enjoys her own voice. She is constantly talking to herself, singing, spitting, growling like a monster and screaming with ear piercing shrieks. She alternates back and forth with her many sounds for no apparent reason. She just seems to love the sound of her own voice. She is a noisy little critter. She has turned into a very good eater too. She can polish off a jar of baby food in no time at all now. Once she learned to put her tongue under the spoon instead of on top of it she became a much more efficient eater. She gets excited for solid foods now. She starts smacking her lips and moving her tongue all around when you bring out the jar. Lori has her on a pretty good eating, bottle and nap schedule which Karl tends to mess up on the day he watches her.

Completely Christian
Christian recently earned his Bear in Cub Scouts. He is very proud to be a Bear. He just got back from Cub Scout Day Camp yesterday. He had a lot of fun and came home with a tool box that he made. You will have to ask him about
the Pack Meeting where he was awarded the rank of Bear and what it was like to wrestle a bear in a small dome tent next time you see him.

Christian has signed up for football in the fall. Karl was very impressed with the whole process. The people who run this thing mean business and have their act together. Christian had to be processed through about ten different segments of the process including being measured and weighed, fitted for pads and a helmet, given a physical by a doctor, verification of residence, verification of his grades point average, birth certificate, etc. Christian was even issued his own player identification card.

Christian’s school had their spring carnival recently. Christian got to dress up in a Sumo body suit and do some Sumo wrestling. He also had fun doing some rock climbing and bow staff combat. His many hours of double light saber training showed as he was able to beat all competitors.

This past week, Christian had to run a business at school. The whole third grade is learning about economics and business. For an allotted time each day the kids would all set up their businesses and compete on the open market. Christian decided to run a shoe cleaning business. The kids were all competing for business and Gator Bucks which they could use to spend in the market. Some of the other kid’s ideas included face painting, nail painting, selling pictures that they drew, massages, and selling signs that they had made. One ingenious kid sold video game cheat codes. These are codes that he had earned in video games that help a player advance in the game. Christian had fun earning some Gator Bucks, but was disappointed with the fact that it was hard to compete against those kids whose parents just bought them desirable things to sell like CD’s and ice cream. Not sure what those parents thought they were teaching their kids about business. Getting something for free and then selling it with no work involved.

Christian also had a half day this past week on Wednesday and Karl watched Vayden while Lori and Christian went to Chase Stadium to watch the Diamondbacks wallop the Cubs 10 to 0.

All Alyssa
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALYSSA!
Happy Birthday ! Sweet Sixteen ! We know it has been a few weeks since your birthday, and we already mentioned your 80’s skating party, but we haven’t issued an edition of the Sunday News since the passing of your actual birthday.

Family Stories
Christian’s Schizophrenic Phone Messages
One night this past week Christian came home from school and requested to go over to his friend Blake’s house to play. He did his homework and chores and ate his dinner early so he could go play at Blake’s. He was told he needed to be back by 7 p.m. Christian decided that he wanted to extend his time so he called Karl’s cell phone. Karl, unknown to Christian was at the gym and did not have his cell phone. Lori was at home, but Christian doesn’t have the home phone committed to memory and was either too lazy walk the 200 yards or more likely did not want to risk being told to just stay home. When Karl later checked his phone, there were 11 messages over the space of approximately and hour left from Christian. They went as follows:

Message 1: (sucking up with butter dripping from his voice) Dad, This is your loving son Christian. I was wondering . . . can I stay at Blake’s until 8:00 o’clock?

Message 2: Dad, this is Christian did you get my message?

Message 3: (urgency now in his voice) Dad, are you there? This is Christian call me back. (no phone number given)

Message 4: Dad I know you are ignoring me and it is not funny. (anger now in his voice) Call me back! (still no number given)

Message 5: (angrily) Dad you aren’t funny. If you don’t call me back I am not coming home! This is Christian.

Message 6: (anger now gone replaced with remorse) Dad, I am sorry I was so angry with my message, but I want to stay at Blake’s. Can you please answer your phone?

Message 7: Dad, Pleeeeaaasssse answer your phone. I’m not joking. This is Christian.

Message 8: (anger in his voice again) Dad, that is it! If you don’t answer your phone so I am never coming home.

Message 9: (anger now gone replaced with remorse) Dad, I am sorry I was arguing with you, but I just really want to stay at Blake’s. This is Christian.

Message 10: (voice full of anger again) Dad, I know you are doing this on purpose and it’s making me angry. Since you won’t answer your phone I get to stay at Blake’s. That is fair Dad. Ohh, this is Christian.

Message 11: (remorsefully) Dad, this is Christian, I am sorry I was arguing with you again. I am coming home now.